Rules for Co-Parenting
What are the rules for co-parenting? Co-parenting can include any other person or relative providing parenting responsibilities and structure for your child.
Are you co-parenting? You may be co-parenting with your ex-spouse or ex-partner. Or, in some cases, you may be co-parenting with a grandparent.
Regardless of the relationship of the other co-parent, situations can be frustrating and challenging between co-parents.
However, remembering to keep your child or children’s best interest in mind AT ALL TIMES, will help you and your co-parent make better decisions for the greatest outcomes!
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See Below: TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS REGARDING RULES FOR CO-PARENTING
5 Considerate Rules for Co-Parenting, Including With Grandparents
#1. Open and Direct Communication
One of the vital rules for co-parenting is having open and honest communication with the other parent or grandparent. Trying to deceive or lie to the other parent will negatively backfire on parents and children.
Additionally, key rules for co-parenting includes communicating directly with the other parent, NOT through your child. It is NOT fair to expect children to be the message carrier between co-parents.
Also, it can be emotionally overwhelming for children to try to get all information clear, especially if the other co-parent becomes angry or irritated. It is extremely important to keep children out of co-parenting messaging.
To establish accurate, and effective communication between co-parents, be sure to communicate directly with the other co-parent, and NOT through your children.
Using your children as a communication conduit places them in an unfair and uncomfortable position. For everyone’s sake, be sure to communicate directly with the other co-parent.
#2. ALWAYS Do What is Best for the Child
Regardless of your relationship with the other co-parent, ALWAYS act in the best interest of the children. Using children against the other co-parent can create psychological damage to a child.
Parents often become competitive with the other co-parent, which can cause anger and frustration. Understanding that co-parenting is not a competition between parents, will make co-parenting relationships much easier for co-parents and the children.
Allowing children to enjoy a loving bond with the other co-parent is healthy and fulfilling for all children. Learning to truly act as a partner with the other co-parent demonstrates cooperation and compromising skills to your children.
Observing parents or co-parents working together allows children an opportunity to feel safe with both co-parents. And, keeping your child’s well-being, both through mental and physical health will continuously benefit your children, the co-parent, and yourself.
Therefore, at times one or the other co-parent may need to swallow their pride, change scheduled plans, or make other arrangements to do what is truly best for the child.
Ultimately, the bottom line is that when co-parents work together towards unity, children feel a real sense of internal peace and security.
#3. Create a Planned Schedule, but be Flexible
Creating a planned schedule is one of the best rules for co-parenting. Making sure you and the other co-parent have scheduled and agreed upon days and timeframes makes every day easier.
Co-parents can use a scheduling planner or app they can share with one another. Having an accessible calendar allows each co-parent an opportunity to view and/or rearrange dates, if necessary.
Of course, establishing a set schedule provides a routine for children and co-parents. Understanding the daily, weekly, and monthly routine for where and when children will be is important for all co-parents.
Nevertheless, it’s important to remember that changes in schedules and routines are inevitable. Perhaps a birthday, vacation, child’s event, etc. So definitely keep in mind, even the best co-parenting schedule can have unforeseen changes.
Regardless of how the schedule may change, it is essential co-parents allow flexibility in the schedule if it is best for the child….and/or the co-parent.
Family Calendar & Planner Ideas For Co-Parenting
#4. Be Respectful. Do not Talk Badly About the Other Parent or Grandparent to the Children
Truly, one of the most vital rules for co-parenting is showing respect for the other co-parent. Although you may have a tumultuous relationship with the other co-parent, your child most likely does not.
Hearing bad and negative comments from one co-parent to another can put your child in a very fragile position.
Having one co-parent speak negatively about another co-parent, is very upsetting and confusing for children. Keep in mind, children love both co-parents and they should not be subject to hearing harsh words and nasty remarks about the other co-parent.
Again, keeping the child’s best interest in mind should be all parent’s goals and objectives. Therefore, being respectful and refraining from talking badly about the other co-parent will ultimately be favorable for you and your child.
Remember, even if co-parents are not perfect, your children will determine their own relationship with them as they get older. I Promise!
Large Visible Dry Erase 3-Month Calendar
#5. Be Understanding When Things Don’t go as Planned
As a very old quote goes, the best-laid plans often go awry! (From Mice and Men) Meaning, although you may have planned and scheduled and arranged something, it may not turn out or go the way you hoped it would go. Even the best-planned events may not turn out the way they were intended.
Consequently, we can’t always expect things to turn out perfectly. Life and plans don’t work that way. Things change, people change, and plans change.
So, when a best-laid plan goes awry in a co-parenting situation, try to be understanding. Most disrupted or changed plans were not meant to happen but happened anyway.
Being understanding when things don’t go as planned as a co-parent shows your child that you can adjust and adapt to change. Even when it is thrust upon you!
Although changing plans may be hard sometimes, it’s important to accept and acknowledge changes in every area of your life, including co-parenting!
For parental visitation information, See the article: 5 Important Parental Visitation Facts.
See this article for more information regarding Getting Custody of a Grandchild or Child.
Can Grandparents be a Co Parent?
Yes, grandparents can be co parents. Co-parents or co-guardians share responsibilities, both legal and physical care of a child or children with another parent.
Therefore, these rules for co-parenting apply to anyone co-parenting children together. Bear in mind, these are only some rules and ideas you and your co-parent can incorporate into your lives.
We know parenting is not an easy experience. Hence, all parents need some help and support raising children. Whether your support is with other parents, families, schools, spouses, or a co-parent, it is needed.
So, regardless if you are co-parenting with another parent or grandparent, or whoever, it is truly in the best interest of everyone, especially the children, to establish rules for co-parenting and do what is best for the children.
Finding Support Through Co-Parenting Books Through Amazon
Children’s Books to Help Kids Through Co-Parenting
See additional co-parenting support in the Co-Parenting Help Guide.
TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS REGARDING RULES FOR CO-PARENTING
- Focus on fair and reasonable outcomes for everyone involved in co-parenting. If all parties are agreeable, the smoother transitions will be for the children.
- Always keep the children’s best interests in mind. Rules for Co-parenting are for the children. Be sure to do what is right for their overall happiness.
- If co-parents can not be amicable, consider finding an alternative adult individual (NOT THE CHILDREN) to help facilitate communication. I am only suggesting this if the co-parents can not remain respectful towards each other in front of the children.
- Regardless of the co-parenting relationship, it is EXTREMELY important to show respect toward the other co-parent. Refrain from calling them bad names or speaking negatively about them. This includes discussing or talking about money, lifestyle, or another partner.
- Do not put children in the middle of a co-parenting situation. Remember, children want to love both parents or grandparents and may feel responsible in some way if they are put in the middle of relationship talk. ALWAYS keep children out of co-parenting arguments and discussions.
