Calming Techniques Experience

calming techniques

Today I experienced one of my proudest calming techniques with my granddaughter even though the events leading up to it were not very calming.

While picking my granddaughter up from an extremely stressful day of school, (In all fairness most of her days are stressful), a 16-year-old driver backed into the side of my car! Ugh!

I was later told he only had his driver’s license for a month!! One month and an accident on his record! Sadly, as of mother of five grown children, now raising two grandchildren, I know what that’s like.

I was upset and shaken, but I remained calm during the police transfer of insurance information, pictures, etc.

As my granddaughter looked on, she witnessed my calmness, which I believe….or hope….my calmness contributed to her using her calming techniques minutes later when she received an upsetting text.

She didn’t want to share the text with me, but only took a few minutes for her to become regulated by using some of these calming techniques!

Being calm, feeling calm and remaining calm are challenges we all face from time to time. Here are a few calming techniques that will hopefully help our kids and ourselves when chaos occurs!

Focused Calming Techniques 

calming techniques

By calming down strong feelings, we can use our thinking brains to resolve issues and solve problems.

Identifying your feelings and emotions will help us find successful calming techniques during distress.

When strong feelings take over the thinking parts of our brains it can make us feel unable to think rationally or make good choices.

These calming techniques are proven to shift your focus from anxiety-building thoughts to the present moment, making it easier to stop negative and provoking thoughts.

  • Identify 5 things you can see. Visualization helps the brain focus in another direction.
  • Pinpoint 4 things you can touch. The simple sensation of touch can redirect our thoughts. Touching can include parts of your own body, such as massaging your face, rubbing your shoulders, or hugging yourself.
  • Listen for 3 things you can hear. Sound can be distracting for a racing mind. Whether the noise is soothing or erratic, it can help alter anxious thoughts.
  • Notice 2 things you can smell. The sense of smell can relax our internal feelings into a state of calm. Smells can trigger the mind into a peaceful environment.
  • Lastly, 1 thing you can taste. Tasting a familiar food or drink can change our thought patterns. Enjoying something with a sweet or sour taste can calm down our minds and help regulate our breathing patterns.

Fast Calming Techniques

4-7-8 Breathing Technique

calming techniques

If you are feeling overwhelmed one of the best calming techniques for kids, anxiety, stress, and anger is to focus on breathing exercises.

One of the best breathing techniques is the 4-7-8 breathing method. The 4-7-8 breathing method includes deep breathing from your diaphragm.

Sit quietly with your eyes open or closed and begin the 4-7-8 breathing pattern. Repeat the breathing exercise at least 5 times. Remain seated and take notice if you are feeling more relaxed and less stressed.

4-7-8 Breathing Consists of:

calming techniques
  • Taking in a deep breath for 4 seconds
  • Hold your breath for 7 seconds  
  • Exhale all of your breath slowly for 8 seconds…blowing out all of the air in your lungs.
  • Repeat 4-6 times.
  • Take notice of how relaxed you are feeling. If needed, continue the 4-7-8 breathing exercises 4-6 times more.

You may need to practice holding your breath or blowing your breath out, but practice makes perfect. Don’t expect to get it right the first few times! Do your best!! If you continue to feel overwhelmed or stressed, repeat the 4-7-8 breathing exercises with your eyes closed until your heart rate and your breathing become relaxed. These calming techniques may take several times before feeling peaceful.

Tongue Placement

calming techniques

Studies have shown that placing your tongue on the roof of your mouth during stressful or anxious periods can reduce anxiety. Stress can cause one to breathe primarily through the mouth.

Therefore, pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth can help slow down breathing and quickly ease tension.

Focusing on your tongue placement can help distract your mind from feeling anxious and move toward a calming state.

Unfortunately, I often feel a level of anxiety while driving alone in my car; especially driving long distances. When or if I feel anxious, I use this tongue placement exercise to prevent those feelings immediately.

  • First, press the tip of your tongue onto the roof of your mouth or behind the top teeth.
  • Using just the tip of your tongue, wiggle the tongue back and forth at the roof or teeth line.
  • Notice the tingling sensation you feel in your tongue while moving it.
  • This tongue placement feeling can quickly stop or reduce feelings of stress or anxiety.

Calming Techniques for Kids

calming techniques

Calming techniques for kids are important to help them manage their emotions and navigate stressful situations.

Deep Breathing:

  • Teaching children to take deep breaths to calm down can be a lifesaver for kids, parents, and grandparents.
  • When taking deep breaths, imagine blowing up a balloon with each deep breath and then slowly releasing the air.

Sensory Play:

  • Sensory play includes kids playing with sensory tools like stress balls or textured toys to help lessen feeling overwhelmed.
  • Sensory toys can also include touch play with sand or plastic boxes filled with rice. Sensory play can help regulate kids’ emotions and focus their attention.

Visual Relaxation:

  • Create a calming visual for children by using a glitter jar or a lava lamp.
  • Encourage them to shake the jar and then watch the glitter or bubbles settle down, which can help them relax and calm their minds.
  • Soft, calming lights are easy and simple calming techniques for kids.

Physical Activity:

  • Engage children in physical activities like yoga, dancing, or outdoor play.
  • Physical exercise can help release pent-up energy and tension, promoting relaxation and stress relief.
  • Encourage them to do jumping jacks, and silly dances, and shake their arms and legs.
  • Movement is one of the best calming techniques for kids.

Mindfulness Activities:

  • Introduce simple mindfulness activities such as listening to the sounds and smells around them.
  • Focusing on simple noises can help a child feel calm.
  • Other mindful activities include focusing on familiar smells.
  • When children feel stressed, certain smells can relax and diminish feelings of stress.

Imaginary Safe Place:

  • Help children create an imaginary safe place in their minds where they can go to feel calm and secure.
  • Ask them to describe this place in detail, including what it looks, sounds, and feels like.

Positive Affirmations:

  • Teach children positive affirmations they can repeat to themselves when feeling stressed or anxious.
  • Encourage them to say things like, “I am safe,” “I can handle this,” or “I am brave.”

Creative Expression:

  • Encourage children to express their emotions through art, music, or storytelling.
  • Providing outlets for creative expression can help them process their feelings and feel more in control.

Calm Down Corner:

  • Create a designated calm-down corner or area in your home where children can relax and regroup when they’re feeling upset or overwhelmed.
  • Fill it with comforting items like pillows, blankets, books, and their favorite stuffed animal friends!

It’s essential to model and practice these calming techniques with children regularly so that they can learn to use them independently when needed.

Additionally, be patient and supportive as they develop their coping skills for managing emotions.

Calming Techniques for Stress

calming techniques

When your brain goes into overdrive during stressful periods breathing typically becomes very shallow. This can happen at any time. When stress occurs, you may feel scared or out of control.

During these stressful times, your body goes into flight and fright mode. Panic takes over your brain and you may feel you are losing your breath.  

Try these calming techniques for stress:

Deep Breathing:

  • Take slow, deep breaths to activate the body’s relaxation response.
  • Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.
  • Repeat several times.

Muscle Relaxation:

  • Tense and then relax each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.
  • This can help release physical tension and promote relaxation.

Mindfulness Meditation:

  • Practice mindfulness by focusing your attention on the present moment without judgment.
  • Notice your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they arise, and gently bring your focus back to the present whenever your mind wanders.

Physical Activity:

  • Exercise is a powerful stress reliever.
  • Engage in activities you enjoy, such as walking, jogging, yoga, or dancing.
  • Physical activity helps release endorphins, which are natural mood-lifters.
  • For more information on physical activity see 10 Easy Energy-Boosting Exercises for Parents & Grandparents

Practice Gratitude:

  • Take a few moments each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for.
  • Showing gratitude can help shift your focus away from stressors and cultivate a sense of appreciation for the positives in your life.

Connect with Nature:

  • Spend time outdoors and connect with nature.
  • Whether it’s going for a hike, gardening, or simply sitting in a park, being in natural settings can help reduce stress and promote feelings of calm.

Limit Screen Time:

  • Reduce exposure to screens, especially before bedtime.
  • The blue light emitted by electronic devices can interfere with sleep quality and contribute to stress.
  • Instead, engage in relaxing activities like reading or listening to calming music.

Set Boundaries:

  • Learn to say no to activities or commitments that cause you unnecessary stress.
  • Establishing healthy boundaries is important for maintaining your well-being and managing stress levels.

Practice Time Management:

  • Break tasks into manageable chunks and prioritize them based on importance and urgency.
  • Creating a structured schedule can help reduce feelings of overwhelm and increase productivity.

Seek Support:

  • Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.
  • Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can provide perspective, validation, and emotional support during times of stress.

Remember that managing stress is a journey, and it’s important to find techniques that work best for you. Consistent practice and self-care are key to effectively managing stress and promoting overall well-being.

Calming Techniques for Anger

calming techniques

Some calming techniques for anger may include thinking before you speak, expressing your reasons for your anger, when calmed, being active and getting exercise, letting go of any resentments, giving yourself a break or time out to reflect, and pinpointing resolutions to remain calm.

Deep Breathing:

  • Take slow, deep breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. This can help calm your body’s stress response.

Muscle Relaxation:

  • Start from your toes and work your way up, tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in your body.
  • This technique helps release physical tension associated with anger.

Mindfulness Meditation:

  • Practice mindfulness by focusing your attention on the present moment without judgment.
  • This can help you observe your thoughts and emotions without reacting impulsively.

Take a Break:

  • If you feel overwhelmed, step away from the situation for a few minutes.
  • Go for a walk, listen to calming music, or engage in a relaxing activity that you enjoy.

Use Visualization:

  • Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful place, such as a beach or a quiet forest.
  • Visualize the sights, sounds, and smells of this place to help shift your focus away from anger.

Practice Gratitude:

  • Reflect on things you are grateful for in your life.
  • Showing gratitude can help shift your perspective and reduce feelings of anger and frustration.

Physical Activity:

  • Engage in physical exercise to release built-up tension and stress.
  • Activities like yoga, tai chi, or going for a run can help calm your mind and body.

Express Yourself:

  • Find healthy ways to express your feelings, such as talking to a friend or writing in a journal.
  • Bottling up emotions can lead to increased anger and resentment.

Use Humor:

  • Try to find humor in the situation.
  • Laughter can be a powerful tool for diffusing tension and reducing anger.

Seek Professional Help:

  • If you find that anger is significantly impacting your life and relationships, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who can provide additional support and guidance.

Remember, it’s normal to feel angry at times, but learning to manage and express your anger in healthy ways is important for your well-being.

Calming Techniques for Anxiety

calming techniques

Deep Breathing:

  • Practice deep breathing exercises to activate the body’s relaxation response.
  • Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.
  • Repeat several times.

Muscle Relaxation:

  • Tense and then relax each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.
  • This helps release physical tension and promotes relaxation.

Mindfulness Meditation:

  • Engage in mindfulness meditation to focus your attention on the present moment.
  • Notice your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment.
  • This can help reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calm.

Grounding Techniques:

  • Use your senses to ground yourself in the present moment.
  • Focus on the sensations of touch, such as feeling the texture of an object or the ground beneath your feet.
  • You can also name objects you see around you or listen closely to sounds in your environment.

Guided Imagery:

  • Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful and safe place, such as a beach or a forest.
  • Visualize the sights, sounds, and smells of this place to help shift your focus away from anxiety.

Stay Active:

  • Engage in physical activity to release tension and improve your mood.
  • Exercise can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation by increasing the production of endorphins, the body’s natural stress relievers.

Limit Stimulants:

  • Reduce or avoid consumption of stimulants like caffeine and nicotine, as they can exacerbate feelings of anxiety.
  • Opt for calming herbal teas or decaffeinated beverages instead.

Practice Self-Compassion:

  • Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
  • Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you’re doing the best you can.
  • Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend.

Seek Support:

  • Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.
  • Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help alleviate anxiety and provide perspective.

Remember that different techniques work for different people, so it may take some trial and error to find what works best for you.

Consistent practice and patience are key to managing anxiety effectively.

If you or your children need mental health support, you can find information at Talk Space or Better Help.



For additional calming techniques and suggestions, see 5 Free Ideas on How to Calm Your Mind