See Below: TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR UNDERSTANDING HARMFUL FEAR AND ANXIETY IN CHILDREN
This post is about how to Understand Harmful Fear and Anxiety in Children and the difference between them.
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Knowing the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety in Children is Important!
As a mother of 5, now raising my 2 grandchildren, I have certainly witnessed both fear and anxiety in my children. However, it is important to understand and recognize the differences between fear and anxiety in children.
What are the differences? How does a parent or a child identify the underlying feelings of fear or the overwhelming sensation of anxiety?
What Sparks Fear in your Child?
When trying to distinguish between fear and anxiety you’ll need to understand your child’s reactions in certain areas.
Before overreacting to situations, ask yourself, does my child have fear OR anxiety? And, of course, they may have both, but typically they will respond differently under different circumstances.
Yet, It is important to understand the difference so both you and they can learn strategies for resolving either their fears or their anxiety.
Both, fear and anxiety in children can be very harmful if it is not addressed. The best option to discuss fear and/or anxiety is with a medical professional.
But, recognizing that not all fear is bad and not anxiety is overwhelming is essential. For information on childhood trauma, see HOW TO LEARN FROM THESE 5 TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES.
Many times, fear and anxiety are helpful tools to guide our instincts and emotions. For example:
Understanding Fear
For many of us, fear can be exhilarating. Even fun! We can be fearful walking through a haunted house or haunted hayride at Halloween, but still love it!
These fearful types of activities can increase our endorphins and make us feel excited.
- Does your child enjoy scary movies? Some kids and adults LOVE watching frightening movies. Watching these types of movies may be exhilarating and stimulating to children and adults.
- Is Halloween one of your child’s favorite holidays? Do they love all these creepy and eerie? Enjoying the unsettling excitement Halloween offers children can be fearful, but also fun for many children.
- Does your child prefer reading thriller types of books? Or perhaps murder mysteries. Also, many children may get excited listening to haunted ghost stories or scary tales.
Therefore, some fear and anxiety in children are not always terrifying, while others could be. Managing fear is a very individual feeling. Why does something scary and fearful cause a thrill for some of us and terror for others?
Perhaps knowing a scary event is going to end allows us to feel less nervous about the fear itself and creates a sense of internal stimulation. While other fear and anxiety in children cause terror.
Personally, I stay away from any type of scary situations and avoid haunted houses and thrillers at all costs!
All scary settings would most likely send me into an anxiety attack. However, most of my kids and grandkids, love them! Go figure!
Internal Fears
Although some types of “fear” can be considered thrilling, other fears, including internal fears, can be devastating. Internal fears are often kept hidden or pushed deep down inside us so no one can see, feel or talk about them.
Internal fears are harmful to our trust and confidence. Internal fears aren’t expelled in a movie theater or through reading a thriller. This kind of deep-rooted fear can cause damage both mentally and physically if not addressed.
Children who experience internal fears should talk with a mental health professional to learn how to move beyond their struggles. Determining strategies with a medical professional for fear and anxiety in children has been found to be an excellent resource for most families.
While many of us have buried insecurities that often are masked through our internal fears, others may deny their existence.
Acknowledging internal fears through counseling or therapy can be extremely helpful in finding true happiness in ourselves.
Therefore, addressing fear and anxiety in children will often lead to resolving their internal fears and anxieties.
Some Internal fears are:
- Self-Doubt
- Rejection or not feeling worthy
- Loneliness
- Failure or the sense of not being good enough
- Illness or Death
- Keeping others happy
- Change. Not feeling comfortable with change
Many of us don’t discuss our internal fears, but they can cause distress and torment if they are not managed in some way.
Understanding Anxiety
While fear can be somewhat entertaining at times, anxiety can be particularly crippling. Crippling to the point of not being able to exist is what is called a “typical” world.
Living with anxiety often feels like your world is constantly filled with anxious and nervous thoughts. There is no excitement or thrill with anxiety.
Generally, anxiety or panic will occur under stressful situations, but at times anxiety can suddenly occur without notice or warning.
Typically, once a person begins to feel the anxiety building inside of them, they experience physical reactions.
During those stressful occurrences, your heart rate will increase and your brain begins to produce chemicals in the bloodstream.
Additionally, your throat may tighten and breathing becomes extremely fast and rapid.
Other Anxiety Symptoms
- Anxiety breeds mind-racing thoughts, sweat-producing nerves, and the desire to withdraw from society.
- Anxiety can cause you to feel anxious in every aspect of your life, work, school, family, social environment, and friendships which can be emotionally and physically exhausting.
- Continually attempting to “be ok” is not ok and something will need to change in order to relieve the life of an anxiety-ridden person.
During anxiety or panic attacks, your body is usually in fight or flight mode and you may feel that you need to get out of whatever situation you are in, which can be extremely dangerous at times.
For many years I have experienced anxiety and panic attacks while driving, so I can not get out in the middle of the road.
Therefore, I’ve learned some tricks on how to deal with anxiety symptoms when they begin. These strategies have really helped me from becoming overwhelmed when I am behind the wheel of a car.
These types of anxiety strategies can also be used when managing fear and anxiety in children.
Anxiety Strategies:
Over the years I’ve discovered a variety of anxiety strategies to help reduce the onset of my panic and anxiousness.
Primarily, I find that exercise of all kinds helps limit my anxiety symptoms. My preferred exercises are light yoga, body stretches, walking, either indoors at a gym or a mall, or outdoors, and dancing. I LOVE to dance and try to incorporate dance into my daily routine.
I frequently find my dance opportunities while cooking. I put on my music and speaker and dance my heart out while preparing meals. It’s a fun way to reduce stress and enjoy cooking at the same time!!
Other strategies that may help when you feel an onset of anxiety or panic are:
Breathing Techniques:
Breathing is something we do every minute of every day. Obviously, we need to breathe to stay alive. However, learning to be conscious and aware of each breath, especially during anxious or stressful periods, will lower your nervous system and promotes a sense of calm.
Breathing patterns and techniques are more than inhaling and exhaling. Practicing breathing patterns can send a message to your brain that all is well and help move you to a relaxed mental and physical state.
There are many breathing techniques, but at the onset of anxiety, these are the breathing exercises that I personally use.
- Slow Breathing: Slowly and deliberately breathe air in through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Release all the breath in your chest when exhaling. Try this breathing pattern at least 3-5 times to help feel relaxed.
- 4-7-8 Breathing: I use this breathing pattern all of the time. It helps me in times of stress and also helps lull me to sleep at night. Give it a try. With your lips apart, breathe in for 4 seconds. Then close your lips and hold your breath for 7 seconds, after holding your breath release all of your breath by pushing out a forceful exhale for the count of 8 seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern 3-5 times. If you feel dizzy or lightheaded, discontinue the exercise.
- Alternate Nostril Breathing: One breathing exercise I find helpful is alternative nose breathing. Close one nostril by pressing your thumb or finger into the side of the nostril, then inhale and exhale from the open nostril. Then switch off and close the other nostril and inhale and exhale on the opposite side. Repeat this pattern 2-3 times.
Other stress relieving strategies I find that are helpful at the onset of anxiety are, listening to music, talking on the phone (sometimes a familiar voice can be very soothing), chewing gum or sucking on life savers and aromatherapy.
Using an aromatic scent can send a calming signal to the brain that releases soothing sensations. In preparation for the onset of anxiety, I keep gum, life savers, and an aromatic roller stashed in my car at all times.
Although I don’t always use these tools, knowing they are available to me if needed, makes me feel more relaxed and at ease when I’m on the road.
Additionally, all of these breathing patterns and anxiety strategies help alleviate fear and anxiety in children. Understanding the best approach for easing fear and anxiety is very comforting and reassuring.
To learn more about the challenges of dealing with fear and anxiety in children, ebooks and audiobooks can be found at Barnes & Noble, ebooks, and Apple Services.
Dealing with Fear and Anxiety in Children
Managing Anxiety
Learning the anxiety level of your child is extremely important. When my grandchildren first moved into our home, their anxiety level was alarming and concerning.
At that time it was difficult to understand if our children were fearful or if they are full of anxiety.
Due to my grandchildren’s past experiences, I could feel their deep-rooted sense of dread and sadness. I learned their anxiety would not allow them the opportunity to be alone or at ease without my presence. The fear and anxiety in children became very obvious.
Bedtime was very hard for my young granddaughter and she spent most nights snuggled next to me. I knew I needed to find therapeutic services for them on an individual basis.
Luckily, I found two excellent therapists who worked with them on a variety of anxiety-related issues. Working ongoing with therapists was beneficial for all of us.
My grandkids eventually learned strategies for coping with their anxiety. They also learned to trust their own instincts without constant nervousness that something bad was going to happen.
They learned that anxiety can be viewed as a tool to guide our innermost emotions to safety. It can also help guide us to know what to do and how to handle situations so we are not feeling overwhelmed.
Happily, my grandkids have developed a sense of calm that feels controllable for their emotions and the normal stresses of growing up.
I truly learned that it is important to acknowledge and recognize anxiety in order to find a manageable resolution for your emotions.
This post is about understanding Fear and Anxiety in Children and tools for managing outcomes.
TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR UNDERSTANDING HARMFUL FEAR AND ANXIETY IN CHILDREN
- Listen to your child or grandchild to try to recognize if they are dealing with fears or anxiety. Fears can be experienced during a scary event. Anxiety generally stays present and internalized.
- Ask questions. Does your child or grandchild visualize something frightening? In traumatic situations, children suppress feelings and emotions which can cause anxiety.
- Provide support and protection for your child or grandchild when they are feeling anxious. Don’t under estimate their internal struggles. Show love and tenderness when you see them becoming anxious or fearful.
- Seek professional therapy or counseling for your child or grandchild and yourself. Discussing anxious thoughts and feeling with a professional can make a huge difference in your child’s overall mental health. For Support Services for Children, see this related post Support Service for Children
Talk Space is a great resource to find support, professional therapy or counseling.
