TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR FINDING A LIFE FOCUS FOR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE
What is a Life Focus?
Finding a life focus as a 16,17 or 18-year-old high school student is much harder than most teenagers anticipate. Discussing career goals for your future in high school seems like an impossible undertaking that most students cannot or do not comprehend.
Of course, graduating from high school is a milestone most of us remember with excitement. Yet, many graduates feel confused and concerned about their next steps. New directions. New goals. New career paths.
Although many high school students determine plans and goals before graduation, having a real-life focus is hard to fathom. Regardless of plans for their new direction in life, graduates are often blindsided by reality when they are actually heading off to a college campus or to a full-time job.
Following The Right Path
When my five children were in high school, we felt their right path was to go directly into college. Although there were some bumps and changes along the way, all five children have earned varying degrees in different studies.
Years later most of them have earned multiple degrees in various subjects, all feeling their education was a valuable resource in their life focus and goals.
But now, while raising my two grandchildren, there are new goals and life focus needed for them. Since both grandchildren experienced educational delays from their past home life, finding the right path and their life focus has been MUCH more challenging!
When my extremely bright autistic grandson graduated, all sites were set on him attending our very popular and successful Community College. He graduated high school on time at 17 years old.
Although he had the opportunity to remain in high school and gain additional support, he chose to take his diploma and find his own direction and life focus. He was stubborn and determined on graduating and agreed to take classes at our community college in the hopes of finding his real-life focus and purpose.
All started out well. He tested high on the entrance exams, but we decided to start him slow with only two classes in his first semester. Since he didn’t have a car, we arranged rides back and forth from the campus on his scheduled Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The workload was light and his other days were free for him to continue sitting in front of his gaming console.
I was so proud of him. I felt the college independence would allow him to shine and show his potential. After all, if you sat and talked to him about world topics, he probably knew more than anyone else in the room. He was smart. He is smart, but he definitely doesn’t let it show.
Unexpected Changes
As it turned out, he unfortunately never let his intelligence shine. Not in the classroom, his homework, or his papers. He didn’t show or do anything as a college student. But I was not aware of that at the time.
Late in November, I scheduled a date for my grandson and me to meet with his advisor. We were planning to register him for Spring semester classes. However, the meeting was cut short when I learned, through the advisor, that my grandson had stopped going to classes in mid-October. He admitted it was true.
Although he was getting driven back and forth to campus three days a week, he was not actually going to his classes. Instead, he was sitting in the lounge or lunchroom entertained by his iPhone, just waiting for his ride to come to pick him up!!!!!! WHAT!!! HUH! HOW? WHY? He was silent!
We left the advisor’s office…pretty abruptly I might add, and I walked straight to the car without saying a word. But once in the car, I let loose! Again, asking why he didn’t say anything. Why did he stop going to classes? What was the problem? Etc., etc., etc.
I eventually had to stop talking because he became upset. As parents know, sometimes seeing your child upset does not immediately let them off the hook. But, seeing my extremely smart, but extremely lazy, high functioning, (strange term) autistic grandson upset shut me up!
We drove the rest of the way in silence. I was probably silent for a few days after that too. After all, I was angry and frustrated. After living with me for six years, I felt so taken advantage of that I was mad. And I also knew I needed to find another way for him to find his life focus. Because after all, this wasn’t about me….and needed to remember that!!
Later, he and I talked about finding other options. Looking for alternative directions. Finding different ideas. And figuring out his own life focus.
Next Steps for a Life Focus
When the new year rolled around, we scheduled another meeting at the Community College with the Director of Disabilities. Although he was connected to the school through the Disabilities Office, we had not met with the Director. But now it was time.
The Director of Disabilities was smart, patient, and helpful. She spoke to my grandson like an 18-year-old adult who needed to take responsibility for himself. She asked him if he wanted to try one course that she felt would catapult him into college life. It was an easy, but important Intro to College Life course. Four college credits with an opportunity to learn the ins and outs of college as well as the ins and outs of college students.
Again, the classes were three days a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, so I needed to reestablish driving plans to get him back and forth from campus. Both the Disabilities Director and I felt this was a valuable class that he could accomplish and push him into the direction and life focus that he needed.
Unfortunately, and it truly is very unfortunate, that was not the case. As the semester neared closing, the director called my grandson and me for a meeting. She informed me my grandson was going to all his scheduled classes, but had not submitted ANY of his 25 required assignments. Not one!
He confirmed he had not completed any assignments and was advised to withdraw from the class immediately. Which he did. Again, I was crushed. I knew… I know he can be a college student but he doesn’t want to be.
And again, it is not about me! Now I knew, he, we desperately needed to find a new direction.
Obviously, I cannot or will not force him to continue to do something he so adamantly says he does not want to do. So, we have turned to our next and only option is for him to find work. He has never had a job.
Frankly, he is quite socially withdrawn from others. Some autistic individuals are outgoing, and not sure of their own boundaries. My grandson is intellectual and unsure of how to openly interact with others. And would certainly not over-extend himself into someone else’s personal space. For whatever it’s worth, he keeps his distance at all costs!
Therefore, finding appropriate employment for him may be a bit of a challenge. Fortunately, he was instructed to reach out to the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation in our state to look for job information and opportunities.
Vocational Rehabilitation Programs
Moving forward my grandson is looking toward finding support through Vocational Rehabilitation Services. Each state, in the United States, offers Vocational Rehabilitation services for individuals with all types of disabilities.
Our state offers career assessment, career placement, and career training. Therefore, through our state Vocational Rehabilitation Office, we hope to find job opportunities that will fulfill my grandson’s life focus.
If you or your child or grandchild need Vocational Rehabilitation services, you can reach out to your State Vocational Rehabilitation Agencies through the Rehabilitation Services Administration.
Should I Go to College?
College may be the perfect environment or placement for a graduate’s life focus, but college may not always be the best direction for all high school graduates.
The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports annually on college graduates statistics. It states that in 2021, 61.8% of high school graduates enrolled in college. Statistics from 2021 are lower than statistics from 2019.
A report from Research.com, states that 66% of high school graduates enrolled in college programs, with 44% in four-year college programs and 22% enrolled in two-year programs. It is suspected that the drop in enrollment is due to the effects of the COVID pandemic.
There are many other options after high school that graduates may be interested in exploring.
Options After High School
High School Graduates can find opportunities to become successful adults in numerous other areas.
For more information on 6 Great Options After High School Graduation.
Gap Year:
A gap year is generally a “break” year after your high school graduation. This time gives new graduates an opportunity to reflect and establish what career path they’d like to pursue.
A gap year allows high school graduates a period of time to gather additional knowledge through independent experiences before entering college.
Also, taking a gap year permits time to learn additional desired skills. A gap year has shown to be beneficial for students who are not quite ready to pursue the workforce or further their education.
Gap Years are very popular and typical in European countries.
Some Gap Year Travel Programs include:
EF Gap Travel Programs & Worldstrides
Travel:
Many high school graduates have spent several years working part-time and saving money. After graduation, they may feel it is time to be adventurous and expand their travel opportunities.
After graduating high school students may choose to travel independently or in a group.
Traveling is a valuable experience that could be limited by other life commitments.
Therefore, traveling after graduating from high school may be a practical goal to take before deciding on other responsibilities.
Internships:
Most High School students have various interests. Before making a commitment to one area, high school graduates may find internships in different areas of study.
Working as an intern allows graduates insight into companies or businesses without fully committing to that industry.
Workforce:
Many high school graduates plan to move directly into full-time employment.
Getting a job after graduating high school allows individuals to begin earning an income and saving to gain independence.
Employment can also be found through an internship program. Graduates who choose to enter the workforce after they graduate may begin to learn their desired career preferences through their early experiences. This could prove beneficial as they discover various work settings and environments.
There are MANY trades looking to recruit new high school graduates. Often, the skills needed for many trades are taught on the job.
Learning a Trade:
There are MANY trades looking to recruit new high school graduates. Often, the skills needed for many trades are taught on the job.
In addition, there are certificate programs that offer training for numerous lines of work. Community Colleges offer several trade certificate programs in a classroom environment.
The Labor Union hires trainees in formalized trade educational programs as well as on-the-job training for most workers.
Military Service:
High School graduates may choose to serve in the military after graduation. The military provides a structure for graduating students who are looking for adventure. Graduates can choose which branch of the military they would like to join and learn the multiple benefits after high school.
Military recruits are given basic pay for their service. They also receive accommodations, uniforms, and medical benefits free of charge. While in the military you will learn valuable skills. Travel is often an exciting part of the military experience.
College tuition is also paid for those in the military interested in pursuing additional education. Additionally, paid college benefits are applied after time served in the military.
Joining the military should be discussed with family members, but it can be a great option for young men and women who are unsure of their life focus. Time spent in the military is a learning and maturing experience for everyone.
In The End: Life Focus
Ultimately, the choice is my grandson’s. He, like all young adults searching for their life focus, needs to determine which direction they want their path to take. As I’ve often said, most people don’t know what they want to be when they grow up.
But it is essential we all learn to take one step at a time in search of finding our place in the world around us. Living and learning our own potential will support us in gaining confidence and contentment for a fulfilling life focus.
TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR FINDING A LIFE FOCUS FOR YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE
- Before graduation, discuss options to determine what your high schooler’s first steps will be after graduation.
- Provide suggestions and support, but allow your graduate to guide their own decisions without judgment.
- Be prepared for changes. Many high school graduates make changes in their life focus and goals. Although changing plans may be difficult for parents, it’s important to trust their decisions.
- When necessary, set limits and expectations. Travel may be fun, but not at the parent’s expense. Determine reasonable timelines for taking steps toward independence and adulthood.
- Work together to make choices, set plans, and establish goals. Keeping in mind deviations along the way!
