See Below: TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR MEANINGFUL ADULT FRIENDSHIPS
This Post is About How to Find Meaningful Adult Friendships and How Friendships Can Change Over the Years.
Friendships in Adulthood
As we go through life, friendships begin to change and often become less of a priority in our daily lives. Typically, we begin to focus more on other relationships, such as romance and marriage, elderly parents, and/or children.
With spending time on other ongoing commitments, friendships take a back seat. And, with a busy lifestyle, it could be weeks or months before seeing or talking with your friends.
Of course, family relationships are important, but we don’t choose our families. But we do choose our friends.
Generally, we choose friends that are like-minded people, with similar interests and around the same age. Obviously, that is not always the case.
When raising children, we may become friends with the parents of our children’s friends and their friend groups. We may also connect with friends through work, church, or other outside activities.
Regardless of how we obtain our friends and friendships, their relationships provide benefits to our life. The reason we have relationships with our friends is that we want to be friends with them.
Meaning, mutual friendship serves a purpose for both parties. Additionally, experts have stated that friendship relationships add both mental and physical benefits to our lives.
Although we devote our time and energy to family commitments, it is our friendships that provide much of our internal happiness.
Having a friend to talk to, spend time with, and rely on, is vital. Knowing you have someone to depend on when you need them is extremely valuable in a friendship.
Why is it Hard to Make Friends as an Adult
I feel it is hard to make friends as an adult due to various life changes. As we get older our priorities change. You may also relocate which separates you from your established friend groups.
If you are newly married or coupled, you will likely focus on your romantic relationship. New parents will focus on raising their children, schooling, activities, etc.
Naturally, friendships change and adjust through our life events. And, our friendships often fall to the bottom of the priority list as our life gets busier.
Yet, knowing the importance of friendships as we get older, we may need to reach outside of our daily lives to find adult friendships.
Finding Adult Friendships
Other Ideas for Making Friends as an Adult:
- Finding friends through other friends is a great opportunity to change acquaintances into friendships.
- Join a Book Club:
- Book clubs are a great opportunity to meet other interesting people. Even if you are not a devoted reader, you can complete an audiobook and get involved in conversations and discussions about the chosen book.
- Take a course at your local Community College:
- Most Community Colleges offer a large variety of courses, such as cooking, design, crafting, woodworking, photography, and so on. Taking an advanced learning class can expand your benefit of learning a new skill and meeting new people.
- Join the gym:
- Most gyms have a variety of classes for members. If you are not interested in any classes, the weight room may be a great place to meet others.
- Get connected in your church.
- Most churches or religious dwellings have many different committees worshipers can join. Reach out to a house of worship to inquire about providing a service to them.
- Volunteer
- Volunteering at a local hospital or charity can be very rewarding. Many facilities are in need of volunteers for different programs.
- Join a non-profit Board of Directors.
- Many non-profits are in search of qualified Board members. Look through your local Chamber of Commerce to find a worthy cause to support.
- Meet Up, Groups
- There are “Meet Up” groups for hundreds and hundreds of different interests. Find a “meet up” group in your area and search for something of interest to you.
How Friendships Change in Adulthood
There are a number of reasons why friendships change in adulthood. Even the most meaningful adult friendships can be difficult to sustain during life changes.
For me, I’ve had two best girlfriends for many, many years. The three of us became close through our children and remained close friends well after our children graduated college and moved on.
Throughout our years of friendship, we spent many days and nights laughing and crying together. We confided in each other and shared all of our innermost thoughts and secrets.
A Personal Story of Friendship
Several years ago, when my daughter was in deep distress, I took legal custody of my two grandchildren. When I informed my two friends, they were shocked! Honestly, I was surprised by my friend’s reaction after taking custody of my grandkids.
At the time I took legal custody, I thought my friends knew the troubles my daughter was having. But they didn’t understand the depth of her mental health destruction.
My friends couldn’t comprehend the fact that my daughter had lost her ability to care for her children. Although I felt they understood the difficult and troubling situation I was in, they didn’t. That kinda made me sad.
It was hard for me to digest that my two best friends weren’t really paying attention to the struggles I was living through at that time.
Obviously, my friends did not realize the darkness my daughter was living in either. They also didn’t understand the shadows that had overtaken my two grandkids’ lives either.
The bottom line was my daughter needed help to find herself and repair her physical and mental health. And, my grandkids needed to be saved and repaired from the damage they were subjected to. They needed love and stability and I needed to be there for them.
In a strange way, I did not feel my friends understood my decision to take legal custody of my grandchildren. At first, my friend’s reactions toward my grandchildren felt uncomfortable.
They expressed that they couldn’t imagine the adjustments I would need to make in my comfortable, empty-nester life in order to accommodate my grandchildren’s challenges.
Sadly, I felt a divide between my two friends and me. I knew the time and attention required for my grandkids would fill in the space I had with my friends….and it did.
Although I really tried to focus on being there for my friends when they needed me, I couldn’t always be. I never missed the most important times, but the weekly outings became monthly; then every other month, and sometimes longer.
As the months moved on our schedules were complicated. In the beginning, my grandkids only had supervised visitation with their mom, so I was always with them.
They seldom saw their dad, but when they did it was only for brief timeframes. Fortunately, my husband and our adult children would help out, but their time was limited.
But, in the end, my adult friendships dramatically changed after I gained legal custody of my grandchildren.
Fortunately, though, my grandchildren have gotten older and more independent and my wonderful friendships are better than ever with my two besties!
The Value of Meaningful Adult Friendships
My friendships were and are very important to me. Because I feel so strongly about maintaining adult friendships, we are sure to keep in touch through email, text, and phone calls. My friends and I value our time together and make time for special holidays and other events.
Even when my friends didn’t understand my situation, they supported my decisions and showed their love for me. Having their friendship has been very special to me and I look forward to becoming an old lady with them!
Meaningful adult friendships are extremely valuable to everyone. We all need someone to talk to, laugh with and cry with.
But, keep in mind, in order to have a friend you need to be a friend. All of us need to make an effort to reach out to those we want to be friends with and show them we care.
When you put yourself out there for others, you will get friendship in return. Adult friendships are important, but friendships of all kinds are a two-way street. It’s a give-and-take relationship. Friendships are mutual. So, reach out and be a friend!
To read about how childhood friendships can change see SEEING LOVE IN THE INNOCENCE OF CHILDHOOD FRIENDSHIPS.
Fun Things to Share in Adult Friendships
Adult friendships can include a vast variety of activities. Some full filled get togethers may include shopping and makeup trips. Here’s some ideas for you and your adults friends. EVERYONE LOVES Anthropologie, Zappo’s, and Kenneth Cole.
For makeup and other accessories, see Sephora and Charolette’s Web for Beauty Products and Health Food Vitamins, or Ulta Beauty. If you’re shopping for designers, you may want to look at the deals at the Coach Outlet.
This post is about finding meaningful adult friendships and the importance of sustainable relationships.
This post may include affiliate links, which means I will receive a small commission if you purchase through my link, at no additional cost to you. For full disclosure read here.
TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR FINDING MEANINGFUL ADULT FRIENDSHIPS
- Be as supportive as possible to friends when they have life changes. Raising grandkids is only one life change that can effect friendships. Relocating, a divorce, a family death or a career change can all influence your friendships. Try to foster love and support when friends are going through any and all life changes.
- Even if you don’t agree with your friends life change, continue to be there for them. Listen and try to understand what they are going through. You may never fully understand what they are going through.
- Be available whenever possible. Your friends schedule may be different than it was in the past. Try to be available when a friend needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on.
- Don’t make judgement on your friends decisions. Although you may be close friends, no one can fully understand the struggles and dynamics of another person. Refrain from placing judgement or negative advise during your friends life adjustments.
For Adult Friendship and Support see this Talk Space blog about How to Make Adult Friendships.
