TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS CONCERNING PARENTING CHALLENGES
Parenting Challenges
Parenting challenges are common, and most likely expected. All parents know how difficult parenting can be from infancy through adulthood. As parents we know that raising children comes with a wide variety of parenting challenges that concern parents and grandparents raising grandchildren.
While raising five children of my own, and now two grandchildren, I have experienced all of these parenting issues and parenting challenges over the years. Honestly, even as a veteran parent and grandparent, I still struggle with these parenting challenges today.
These are the 15 Top Parenting Challenges; Issues and Difficulties I have experienced over the years:
1. Technology:
One enormous parenting challenges parents face today is the new world of technology. Children growing up in this era are surrounded by technology. Even children under the age of 1 year old are accessing technology through varies devices, such as baby monitors, cell phones, iPads & laptops.
Additionally, technology for children has grown into a large educational electronics industry. Currently, all or most children are growing up with a variety of educational electronic games, such as Leap Frog, Vtech, ArchTech, Fisher-Price, Osmo, Learning Journey and many, many more.
Educational electronics for children are wonderful option to introduce them to the wide world of technology, while keeping in mind other games and activities that do not include technology, such as Melissa & Doug or Lego toys .
Learning Through Technology
As children begin their school age years, they will most likely have technology as part of their educational curriculum. For example, my grandchildren received a school issued iPad in Kindergarten. In our school district, students from K-8 use iPads for classwork, videos and assignment, as well as homework.
Meaning, most assignments and lessons are not completed with pencil and paper, they are submitted through an iPad program. Children are also permitted to bring their iPads home and can access specific apps for games.
By the time students are in Middle School, they are usually experts with iPad programs. When entering High School, students are then issued a laptop computer for class work and homework.
In our school district, high school students complete all assignment submissions, watch and film videos and interact with other schools around the world on their laptop. Having access to the internet at students’ fingertips is a valuable learning tool. All school laptops have restricted programs and are collected at the end of each year.
Technology Social Concerns for Children
A major aspect of technology is social media. These parenting challenges are frightening. For children social media outlets can be difficult and dangerous. Children, especially adolescents and teens, don’t fully understand the dangers of the internet and world wide web.
It’s important to note, when children post information and/or pictures on the internet they often have the sense that their information is private. Children don’t truly understand that ALL information put out on the internet can be access.
NO information shared on the world wide web is kept confidential. Therefore, parents need to monitor their children’s electronic devices and all social media outlets to protect them from unwanted predators.
2. School Work
Other parenting challenges focus on school work outside of the classroom. Committing to school work can often be difficult for many students. Usually, children have a variety of outside interests, including sports, family commitments, or part time jobs, which utilizes their time and energy.
With the majority of school work being accessed electronically, students have the opportunity to view and complete assignments on their own timeframe.
Generally, parents also have access to their child’s grades and coursework and can monitor their child’s progress through a parent portal. By monitoring missing assignments, parents can discuss lessons and grades with both their student and the teacher for support and guidance.
3. Lying; Mistrust
Common parenting challenges include lying. Although some adults may call it, “white lies”, lying can begin very early in a child’s development. As children are beginning to understand words, they are also beginning to understand the actual meaning of the language. Whatever language you speak.
When toddlers are asked if they drew on the wall with a crayon, while they are standing at the wall with a crayon in their hand, they will typically say “no”. Why? We think it’s obvious that both the child and the parent KNOW they drew on the wall. However, the child doesn’t have or hasn’t developed the reasoning part of their brain to figure out common sense.
Naturally they feel or sense the tension from the parent’s question and may feel they’ve done something wrong. But, by saying “no” they believe you believe them and they will not upset you. Young children typically can’t understand the difference between yes and no. Therefore, they don’t really know that they are actually “lying” about drawing on the wall. Be Patient!!
As children get older, some of those same qualities are apparent. Children may say they’ve picked up their clothes when they haven’t. Or completed their school work, cleaned their room, etc. etc.
A troubling concern with lying, even “white lies” is that it creates mistrust. Parents don’t want to mistrust or second guess their child or teenage when they say one thing, but do another.
Talking to children at all ages to discuss lying or mistruths is important for their growth and development. Cautioning children against lying to friends, teachers, family, or anyone helps them understand the importance of being honest.
In order to resolve these parenting challenges, it is also vitally important for parents to lead by example and be as real and honest as possible around children at all times.
4. Rudeness; Lack of Manners
What happened to manners? These days it feels like yelling and cursing is normal and politeness is less common. How sad!! Manners are parenting challenges that need to be continually reinforced at home.
Keep in mind, parents should be teaching and practicing manners of politeness with their children. Remind them to be polite and respectful where ever they go. But kids will be kids, so try to not over react to a child rolling their eyes or having a gruff attitude from time to time.
However, be sure to acknowledge their negative attitude with dismay and express your expectation for politeness. Saying please and thank you should not be limited to a specific age. Being polite and using kind language is a lifelong lesson everyone will benefit from following.
Again, children need to lead by example. Children of all ages carefully watch the behaviors of the adults in their life to understand norms and conduct. Therefore, parents need to be respectful and polite to all individuals if they expect their children to display the same behavior.
5. Bad Eating Habits
Parents typically provide healthy food choices for their young children. However, as kids grow up and life becomes busier with various activities. Therefore, families may opt for a quick packaged meal rather than a healthy prepared option.
Luckily, parents have better quick meals they can choose from. Many grocery stores have prepackaged healthy meals for individuals or for families. If these selections are available, you may want to take advantage of purchasing healthy prepared meals rather than a fast-food choice.
Yet, most adolescents and teens make decisions on their own food selections; and often they make unhealthy choices with their eating habits. The best way to combat bad eating habits is through exposure.
Parents should do their best to have healthy prepared foods available for kids after school and on weekends. If you don’t supply cakes and cookies in your house, they will not have the opportunity to eat junk food at their disposal.
Of course, kids will always look for sweets and sugary foods and drinks. Usually, the occasional sugary foods will not impact their overall health if other healthy foods are being consumed regularly.
Children’s metabolism burns twice as fast as adults, so indulging from time to time should not affect their overall health. But, with the high use of technology in our daily lives, children exercise less and eat more sugars.
Currently in the United States children’s weight is higher than past generations, resulting in an increase danger of diabetes. Bad eating habits is one of the top parenting challenges for this generation. Therefore, healthy eating and regular exercise for all children should be a top priority for all parents.
6. Tantrums
Some parenting challenges are hard to control. For example, tantrums are commonly thrown for attention. Typically, children throw tantrums when they don’t get their own way. By throwing a tantrum, children attempt to assert their power or aggression. They may drop to the floor and throw a loud, visible tantrum in order to get their own way.
The best course of actions for parents during a tantrum is to ignore them. Of course, if the tantrum takes place in the middle of a store or mall, ignoring them is hard to do.
To deal with an impending tantrum, try bending over or squatting to your child’s level to address the issue. Being eye to eye with a child in tantrum, while talking in a calm, but authoritative voice, generally resolves disputes faster. For the best outcome, aim to redirect a child during a tantrum, so they can calm down as quickly as possible.
Later, after the tantrum, it is important to discuss the situation with the child so they have a better understanding on the appropriate options for expressing their frustrations.
7. Complaining; Whining
Complaining and whining are similar to tantrums, but can be continual instead of occasional. Often children complain or whine when they don’t get their own way. When this begins, stop whatever you are doing to address the complaint on their level. Again, lowering yourself to be eye to eye to discuss their dismay can lead to faster results.
When children complain about “not having”, remind them of other children or families that have less. Children need to understand the difference between “wanting” and “needing”, which is difficult in a “give it to me now” culture.
These parenting challenges force parents to understand their role in complaining. It is important parents refrain from complaining and whining about things they don’t have. Showing gratitude is a skill we all need to possess, from childhood through teen and adult years.
Most families are fortunate to have homes, cars, food and a safe living environment. Giving appreciation for our privileges is essential for showing gratitude. Parents need to be good role models in expressing gratitude as often as possible.
8. Friends Influence
Childhood friends influence is important to acknowledge, but not fully stress over it. As adults and parents, we know how many friends and acquaintances come in and out of our lives. The same applies to children.
Often, friends in childhood do not remain friends through life. If we are lucky, we find friends through high school and college years, but it’s not always the case. In my experience, male friendships are more likely to last throughout the years, rather than female friendships. As I said, that is only in my experience. Of course, many girls may have childhood friends for life as well.
Keep in mind, some children choose friends for very innocent reasons. Perhaps someone to play with. As kids get older, they may look for friends that they think will help them be cool, or more popular.
Some parenting challenges are magnified when children start to experience smoking, drinking or drugs, which is obviously a direction parents do not want their children to follow. Therefore, monitoring friends is important for parents to do.
If your child is visiting another friend’s home, it’s OK to get in touch with the other parents. It’s OK to make sure the information you are receiving from your child is accurate.
Following up on your child or teenagers’ information is vitally important, regardless of how your child reacts. As a parent you need to know if the environment and location, they are going to is safe.
Tweens and teens are excellent at making parents feel they are intruding on their privacy, their time, their friends…..but you should be!! Don’t back down from parental instincts of checking up on children. Trust me, when they are grown, they will understand and respect you for looking out for them!
9. Rebellion; Defiance
Rebellion and defiance in children fall into a similar category as complaining and whining, but are actually quite different. Most children, especially teens, rebel against their parents to assert their independence. Rebellion and defiance should not necessarily be considered a “bad” or negative reaction.
As with all generations, children want and need to learn to become their own person, separate from their parents. As parents, our goal is to teach our children to become responsible independent individuals who can eventually care for themselves and make their own decisions.
Consequently, as children mature, their ideas and decisions may not be in line with their parents, which appears as rebellion. As parents, we need to respect that our children may have different views on different subjects.
Our children are individuals and parents should be proud when they can stand up for themselves if they have a different opinion….keeping in mind respect for themselves and others. Also, keeping in mind safety and any dangerous situations.
Today, parents and children may have similar interests. For example, many parents enjoy the same music as their maturing children. Parents also may have the similar styles as their adolescents or teens.
In past generations, these differences were much more obvious than they are today. Often, parents would argue with children over loud music and specific styles. Those differences were viewed as rebellion or defiance by parents.
However, those lines are currently less and less true of parents and older children. These parenting challenges are not always recognized in parents, but can foster some frustration and resentment in children.
Understanding that generational change, maturing children may look for other areas to show their individuality, such as hair styles, food controls, social media, etc. Again, it is important children mature as unique individuals, so parents should be cautious when picking specific rebellious choices to target.
10. Lack of Communication; Interacting
When I first became a parent, I didn’t believe that my child would reach an age when I wasn’t their best friend. Well, it happened! WAY faster than I thought. Sadly, I felt a little crushed, but I got through it.
And, between my five children and the two grandchildren I’m raising, I gotten through it several other times!! But honestly, it’s never easy to feel your child doesn’t want to interact with you. Many parents feel their parent/child relationship will never change, but it does.
Quite honestly, it should. It’s a natural occurrence of maturing. Many parents begin to feel left out. I’ve talked to LOTS of mothers who insist their relationship with their little girls will never change…until it does. Again, it’s OK.
Children’s lack of communication is a sign that you’re parenting is effective. Your children are developing into an independent person. Of course, children need to be responsible and communicate appropriately when necessary. But long sit-down conversations may not be the norm for most adolescents and teens.
Nevertheless, even when children are not talking or interacting with parents, they are often listening to parents. I frequently found that my children would not necessarily communicate directly with me, BUT they didn’t argue or dispute when I was talking to them.
Often, I found myself talking to them, giving suggestions or advice at mundane times, such as car rides, cooking, or during commercials on TV. They frequently didn’t respond, but they always seemed to be listening, which is actually more important than talking.
To deal with these parenting challenges, continue to talk to your children. Even if your children do not communicate or interact directly with you, they are most likely listening and pay attention to what you are saying!!
(P.S. If you child has a communication medical issue, these suggestions would not apply. These are only tips, ideas, and suggestions, not medical advice)
11. Aggression
Some of the most difficult parenting challenges is aggression. Again, Aggression is similar to rebellion and defiance, but aggressive children express more hostility and anger, rather than rebellion. If your child displays violence or belligerence, you may need to seek professional support.
Children that are aggressive may have a difficult time understanding specific rules, procedures and guidelines. Breaking down specific systems and instructions as simply as possible for your child may help them consider the outcome of their aggression.
In addition, explaining empathy and sympathy to a young child may help them consider the actions of their aggression. Establishing consequences for aggressive behavior at all ages is vital for children to realize the importance of boundaries and their behaviors.
12. Entitlement
Entitlement often occurs when we least expect it. However, some children are born with more opportunities than others, so their entitlement becomes a natural course of life.
Children that are entitled do not nor can not grasp the full understanding of their entitlement. Therefore, it is extremely important parents make every attempt to not raise entitled children.
Parents need to recognize that childhood is only a small portion of a lifetime. Often parents want to GIVE things to their children that they were not given as a child.
This results in parents overcompensating in unnecessary GIVING. Therefore, it is important parents focus on NOT constantly giving to their children arbitrarily. Controlling your desire to spoil your child may be one of the most difficult parenting challenges on the list.
Keep in mind, children that are raised with entitlement may not always be accepted or respected by others. Meaning, entitled children could feel left out by others that do not have the same sense of entitlement.
Parents, be careful to discuss the reasons and costs for buying for your children in order to avoid consistent expectations and feelings of entitlement.
13. Family Time
Another on the list of parenting challenges is having family time together. With todays busy schedules, finding time to spend as a family can be extremely difficult. Although family calendars are full, scheduling family time is imperative in order to stay connected. Allowing time for families to get together for meals, game night, movie night, etc. is an opportunity to put down electronic devices and focus on each other.
When I was a child, my large family sat down together for dinner every night. My father, who was a 9-5 businessman, would engage his eight children by taking turns guessing what he ate for lunch that day. I know it sounds silly, but we LOVED it!
He typically had business lunches with his clients, so his lunch varied day to day. By going around our extended dinner table from child to child, we all giggled and tried to help each other guess his correct lunch choice.
Having 8 children in just 9 years, my father worked hard on sharing his time with each of us individually and as a group. His lunch game is one example of his innovative idea to keep us all engaged during dinner time and enjoy our family time together.
Today, there are a variety of opportunities families can connect and spend time together. Take a look at this post to gather ideas for your family, see 5+ CREATIVE FAMILY DINNER GAMES.
14. Values
Values are one of the toughest parenting challenges to teach. Humans being are not born with values. Values are learned from a child’s environment and the experiences they are surrounded by. Values include many personal beliefs, but mostly values are universal basic respect for people, property and belongings.
As parents, it enormously essential to provide children with basic values of respect for other people, other cultures, other beliefs and other traditions.
All children are born innocent and free from judgement of others, including other children. Children do not know or feel prejudices until they are taught. As a parent and a grandparent, I do not tolerate, teach or support any type of bigotry.
I sincerely implore all parents to show all children honor and not express or teach discrimination of any kind. As previously stated, children watch and mimic parents.
PLEASE refrain from showing your children any intolerances toward other individuals for any reason. Respect is the most important value for all people to have and for all parents to teach their children.
15. Children’s Responsibilities; Chores
Lastly, one of the most common parenting challenges are children understanding the importance of responsibility. Children need to learn responsibilities through their family efforts and chores. As a family member, each person should have individual as well as group responsibilities for helping the household function smoothly.
Frequently, parents decide daily or weekly chores for children to complete. Beyond regular chores, parents may decide or determine a weekly allowance or payment for additional chores, such as mowing the lawn (obviously older children), laundry, caring for younger sibs (if age appropriate), painting, gardening, etc. See 5 EXCITING CHORE IDEAS FOR KIDS & TEENS.
Having children understand each family members roles and responsibilities gives them a better understanding of how important they are as a family member.
Here are some additional suggestions and chore ideas for different ages of children.
Learning From Parenting Challenges
These 15 Parenting Challenges may be concerning for parents, however, each of the challenges are very typical for growing children. When parents learn strategies for handling these parenting issues, they build a stronger relationship and understanding for nurturing their children.
Understandably, raising children will always be challenging, but children are the light of our lives, our souls and of our families.
Yes, children will test our parenting patience, but showing love while providing discipline is an important goal. You do not, nor should not aim to be your child’s friend. As a parent you are not a friend, you are their leader, their guidance, and their most important support. YOU are a PARENT!!
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TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS CONCERNING PARENTING CHALLENGES
- Parents actions always speak louder than words. Children learn by example. It’s extremely important to lead by example. BE AN EXAMPLE!
- Don’t overreact. Staying as calm as possible when discussing a parenting concern will yield smoother outcomes.
- Don’t expect perfection from your children. Children are constantly learning and pushing boundaries. Most likely their behavior/s are typical of ALL children as they develop into their own independent people.
- Keep in mind, your children are not your clones! Children will and should have their own thoughts, ideas and beliefs. Having their own thoughts is a positive sign growing up and becoming an individual.
- Don’t dig your heels in too hard on a specific parenting challenges until you completely understand your child’s perspective. There really are two sides to every story!
- Parents aren’t always “right”. Don’t be concerned if your child’s opinions differ from yours. Again, this a positive sign of growing up and becoming an independent individual.
- Parenting is HARD!! Don’t overstress about your parenting challenges. When in doubt take a break and give yourself time to process the situation before reacting.
