See Below: TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR THE JOYS AND EXHAUSTION OF PARENTING GRANDCHILDREN
This post is about Parenting Grandchildren while maintaining your grandparent relationship.
If You Are Parenting Grandchildren, You Are REparenting!
What is REparenting??
Are you REparenting? REparenting means you are parenting AGAIN! REparenting is learning how to parent grandchildren with structure while maintaining your love as a grandparent.
When grandchildren move into your home, it’s a new experience for them and for you as a grandparent. Up until now, you have probably spent most of your time pampering and giving them whatever they ask for….in their sweet grandchild voice.
Being a grandparent is typically the time when you’re supposed to shower your grandchild with love and as much chocolate as they want, before sending them home!!! BUT now, they’re not going home. Their home is your home.
Figuring out the Grandparent/Grandchild Relationship
Now, as grandparents you are parenting grandchildren. How does that effect your grandparent/grandchild relationship? How do you know when to stop yourself from constantly giving to your grandchildren? Or giving in to them is more accurate!
You can! You’ve done this before. Grandparents have experience as parent and regardless of how long ago you parented, you can still do it! Grandparents are fully capable of parenting grandchildren; REparenting.
Remember, as grandparents, you have the tools your grandkids need. Grandparents have the love, the patience and the ability of parenting again! You understand they need a home, they need food, they need clothes, they need consistency, they need to be able to trust that you will be there for them.
Regardless of why your grandchildren are living with you, they’re scared. They feel alone and lonely. They may not want to show it or they may not leave your side. Either way, you have exactly what they need. They need YOU!
The Biggest Downfall When Parenting Grandchildren!
Many grandparents are used to “doing” for their grandchildren…..which is common for grandparents. So, when grandkids first move in, refrain from doing everything for them.
Typically, grandparents take care of their grandkids during visits. Most likely you are sure to have their favorite foods and treats when they come over. Grandparents take care of their grandkids by making meals or snacks or treats.
However, now that your grandchildren are living with your, you will need to have them do things for themselves. Make their own meals, and clean up their own dishes and belongings.
This may be a very hard concept in the beginning, but it’s important your grandchildren understand they are part of the home and they have responsibilities within the home. The same as your children did growing up.
Be careful not fetch for them! Whether it be food or a drink or putting their belongings away. (Of course this depends on the age of the children) If they able to do for themselves, encourage them to do so without you.
Raising Independent Children
Many years ago I was given some excellent advise from a mother of three extremely successful children. She believes if a child (or grandchild) is capable of doing something for themselves, LET THEM!
Again, this may be a difficult challenge when parenting grandchildren, but the joys and outcomes are truly worth it! Realizing that learning independence is the MOST important lesson any child can accomplish is extremely rewarding.
Although this concept may be extremely annoying when your 2-year-old insists on getting themselves in and out of their car seat when you’re in a hurry.
Or, when you’re frustrated that your child wants to dress themselves, brush their own hair and teeth, give themselves a bath, make a meal, etc., etc., Honestly, giving children an opportunity to do for themselves is a gift for you as well as for them.
Of course, and I mean, of course, they will need your assistance with most of these tasks. Heck, they may always need your assistance or opinions even in adulthood.
But let them try to do things on their own before jumping in. You’ll absolutely be amazed at how much they will learn and develop by just DOING for themselves.
Again, backing off and allowing them to do things for themselves will allow your grandchildren to become more independent. They will also learn to appreciate the importance and satisfaction of being independent.
Also, giving your grandchildren the chance to be more independent will make them feel more comfortable about doing for themselves.
And as your grandchildren become more comfortable with their independence, they will feel like a true members of your home.
Lastly, recognizing the joys and exhaustion of parenting grandchildren helps grandparents and grandchildren understand the positive and valuable lessons we all can learn while living together.
To find additional information through books, audiobooks or eBooks, go to: booktopia or Barnes & Noble.
Review this information for Government Grandparent Support.
This post is about the Joys and Exhaustion of Parenting Grandchildren.
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TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS for The Joys and Exhaustion of Parenting Grandchildren:
Setting Guidelines
Your grandkids may see you as a big softy, a teddy bear and now you need to correct them for leaving their clothes on the floor, trash on the table, or messes around the house. Believe it or not, they want structure. They need discipline. You don’t have to be the “bad” guy, but you do need to enforce rules.
- Be direct and be very specific with your instructions.
- Make sure they don’t sweet-talk their way out of doing what needs to be done.
- Asking politely helps re-enforce manners and behaviors, but remain strong and don’t back down when something needs to be done.
- Try not to lose your cool; set boundaries and stick to them.
- They need to be accountable for what is expected of them, whether it’s household chores or school work. You need to mean what you say and stick to the rules and expectations.
- Discipline: Over the course of raising your grandkids, you will need to discipline them from time to time. The most effective method for discipline is taking privileges away. Privileges include many things, TV for example, (my grandkids never watched TV, so that was never a threat for them) For my grandkids their biggest privileges are technology, iPads, cell phones & computer.
- By removing their technology, they knew I was serious, whether it was completing homework, cleaning their room or whatever the expectation was. If they are not holding up their end of an agreement, a privilege is taken away for a determined amount of time.
- Always make the rules clear for everyone to understand. It’s best to write the rules down so everyone can review them & be reminded of the expectations.
For more information on Raising Grandkids see 9 HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS WHEN RAISING GRANDCHILDREN.
