Below See: TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR NEGOTIATING CUSTODY RIGHTS
Negotiating Custody Rights
Negotiating custody rights may take time. Often, when child custody rights are being discussed or disputed, agreements may need to be arranged.
Custody rights may need to be arranged through a third party, such as a mediator, an attorney, or a judge.
Finding areas of understanding with negotiations can save everyone involved, including the children, time and anguish.
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Child Custody Rights
Recently, I was summoned back to court by my daughter to review my grandparent custody rights of my grandchildren.
My two grandchildren have been living with me since 2017 and feel very comfortable and safe in my home. Since then, my daughter (their mom) has worked toward her sobriety and her personal health and well-being.
I am happy to report that after many difficult years, my daughter and I currently have a much stronger relationship. I trust her more than I have in years, but I am still hesitant in her decision-making.
Honestly, her kids are too. They love their mom and visit her and care about her, but they are still reluctant about some of her decisions.
And although she wants them to forget some of her past behaviors, they are not ready to fully move on regarding her decision making yet.
Therefore, during our court hearing, my grandkids honestly and respectfully told the judge why they are hesitant to let their mom make decisions for them.
My grandkids requested I, MomMom, remain their primary custodial guardian. They requested to continue spending time with mom with visitations but to remain in my care. The judge agreed.
How wonderful that the judge respected my grandchildren’s opinions regarding their own custody rights and agreed to keep the current order in effect. It felt like a victory for them and me!
My daughter, their mom was disappointed, but respectfully agreed. Fingers crossed she will continue to respect her children’s wishes for their own custody rights!
Why? Reasons for Emergency Custody; Custody Rights
In 2017 my daughter was suffering from severe mental health and drug issues. Her life was in crisis and she needed help.
As a single mother raising two young children, she could no longer care for her children. Watching her and her kids’ situation at that time was heartbreaking.
In the hopes of providing my daughter support, she was admitted to a dual diagnosis program for treatment. Unfortunately, she refused to stay in treatment and continued to sign herself out of every program we found for her.
Due to her refusal of treatment, I knew my only alternative was to seek emergency custody and custody rights for my grandchildren. So, I did. Learn more at How to Get Custody of a Grandchild or Child.
What Qualifies as Emergency Custody?
Emergency child custody is given if a child or children are thought to be in immediate danger or at risk of harm.
Additionally, if there are safety concerns, emergency custody may be given to protect the child or children.
Emergency custody can be filed by a parent or another individual, such as a grandparent, petitioning the courts to intervene immediately for child custody rights.
How to File For Emergency Custody
Filing a petition for emergency custody rights depends on your personal family situation. If a parent is available, there may be an emergency hearing scheduled for all parties.
Typically, whoever is seeking emergency custody will need to file a petition at the courthouse.
To file for emergency custody, you will need to complete LOTS of paperwork, answer LOTS of questions, and pay court fees. (Tip, be sure to have information about the children, such as birthdays, addresses, etc. with you. Also, bring a credit card or checkbook for required court fees)
Some individuals may file the petition with an attorney, depending on the situation and/or circumstances of the case.
However, in my case, neither parent was available to appear in court for a hearing. Therefore, sole emergency custody rights were awarded without parental input.
A hearing was scheduled for a future date for the parents to discuss ongoing custody rights and visitation.
How Long Does It Take to Get Emergency Custody?
Depending on the situation, emergency custody may be awarded immediately. Especially if the child or children are not living in a safe environment.
If the children are in your home at the time of filing, they can stay in the home until the official emergency custody order is determined.
At the time of filing, a date is determined for an official hearing. Generally, emergency custody orders are granted in 10 – 14 days.
Is Emergency Custody Permanent?
Typically, all child custody rights cases are assigned on a temporary basis. However, the children will remain with the designated custodian until a full trial or hearing date is determined.
Family courts attempt to award all child custody rights on a temporary basis with the hopes of reuniting families whenever possible.
Yet, the courts aim to make determinations that are in the best interest of the child, not the parent.
Parents always have the right to ask the court to re-evaluate custody rights and agreements. Parents can continue to petition for the custody rights of their children until the age of 18.
Custody Rights For Grandparents
Custody rights for grandparents can be determined by filing a custody petition through the court system.
Furthermore, if the grandchild or grandchildren live with the grandparents for at least six consecutive months, grandparents can petition the county they live in for custody rights.
This ruling also applies to visitation rights for grandparents.
New Law For Grandparents’ Rights
The courts have been updating and changing custody laws for grandparents over the past several years. With the rise of opioid addiction, more grandparents are needed to seek custody rights and raise their grandchildren.
A new law for grandparents allows grandparents to petition for custody if one of the parents has pursued custody action.
But courts can deny custody rights for both parents or grandparents if they feel it is not in the best interest of the children.
What Legal Rights do Grandparents Have?
Grandparents do have legal rights. They can petition for legal and physical custody rights of their grandchildren if they believe it is best for the grandchildren’s health and well-being.
Also, if one of the child’s parents has agreed to a grandparent caring for the child or children, grandparents can obtain legal rights.
Additionally, if the court has put an order in place for the grandparents to care for the children, they can acquire legal custody rights.
How to Apply for Grandparent Rights
How to apply for grandparents’ rights is similar to applying for emergency custody rights. For grandparents to seek custody rights and visitation rights of a grandchild, a grandparent will need to file a custody petition at their local county court.
The local court must be in the same county the child has lived in for the past six consecutive months.
Grandparents will need to show residency for themselves and the grandchild when filing a custody petition and seeking custody rights.
Can a Grandparent Have Joint Custody With a Parent?
Yes, a grandparent can have joint custody with a parent. Having joint or shared custody with a parent can be a suitable arrangement for all parties.
Grandparents with joint custody have the power to make decisions if for any reason the parent is unable to.
Joint custody allows parents and grandparents to discuss and determine the best outcomes for the children.
Having joint custody also protects the parent and grandparent in the case of an accident or death. If joint custody has not been determined by the courts, children could be placed in foster care until appropriate guardians are designated.
Joint custody protects the children as well as the other custodial person.
Check out These Child Custody Books & Guides For Parents, Grandparents & Guardians at Amazon
Different Types of Custody
There are different types of custody for children that parents, grandparents, and/or guardians may tweak and negotiate. They are:
Legal Custody:
- Having the responsibility to make important decisions for the child or children, such as education, medical treatment, and religion.
Physical Custody:
- When the child or children lives with a parent, grandparent, or guardian, they are considered the “custodial” parent. The custodial parent is responsible for physically housing and caring for the child.
Joint or Shared Legal Custody:
- When parents, grandparents, or guardians jointly make important decisions about their child’s life together, such as education. medical treatment, and religion.
Joint Physical Custody:
- When parents, grandparents, or guardians share equal time with the child. This includes housing and daily care of the child or children on an equal basis.
Sole Legal Custody:
- Sole legal custody occurs when only one parent, grandparent, or guardian is responsible for making all decisions about the child’s life.
Sole Physical Custody:
- When a child lives with only one parent, grandparent, or guardian. Generally, with sole physical custody, the other parent still spends time and/or visitation with the child or children.
For the U.S. Department of Justice Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act.
How to Negotiate Legal Custody Rights?
When negotiating legal custody rights for your children or grandchildren, it’s important to be clear regarding your objectives and main concerns. Clearly and precisely state exactly what you and/or your child are requesting in the negotiation.
Likewise, it is extremely important to be flexible. Don’t expect everything to go your way. Being flexible in certain areas is important for all negotiations.
It is also very important to be respectful! All parties, regardless if you are a parent, a grandparent, or a guardian are normally looking out for the child’s best interests.
Refrain from being rude to the other party during negotiations for custody rights.
Tips For Negotiating for Child Custody Rights
When negotiating for child custody rights and visitation, it is important to ALWAYS remember the negotiations are for the children, not to mend a relationship.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind during negotiations.
- During negotiations, parents, grandparents, and/or guardians should ALWAYS put the child’s interest above their own. This includes the safety, health, and happiness of all children.
- When negotiating the judge, master or mediator may inquire about your involvement in your child. Be sure to get involved in your child’s interests. Pretending to be interested will not impress the judge! It’s important to understand your child and show your interest in being part of their activities. Get involved in your children’s lives!
- Don’t lose your temper. Losing your temper will show a lack of emotional control. Stay focused on keeping your anger and emotions in check during negotiations!
- Be flexible. Regardless of your past life situation; divorce, addiction, etc., the goal of negotiations is to figure out an agreeable outcome for the children. You may need to bend and adjust your expectations in order to be flexible with the other party.
How I Found Resolution Through Custody Rights Negotiations
During my recent order to appear in court, my daughter petitioned for full custody. But she and I both knew it was in the children’s best interest to remain in my physical custody.
Therefore, we negotiated and agreed to joint legal custody.
However, since the children were a bit older, they did not feel comfortable or confident having their mom make educational or medical decisions for them.
Therefore, we negotiated specific areas where the children could decide if they wanted their mother or father included or involved in their school or medical decisions.
Since neither parent had been involved with their educational or medical decisions since the children were young, the children and I felt that having them involved now might disrupt their routine.
Fortunately, the negotiated agreement was accepted by the parents. So, the court order was written for legal joint custody with agreement and permission from each child regarding any input for educational and/or medical decisions.
At the end of our court hearing, my two grandchildren, my daughter, and I agreed to have open and honest communication and to always, always agree to do what is best for the children.
Fingers & toes crossed that will happen!!
TIPS, IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS FOR NEGOTIATING CUSTODY RIGHTS
- ALWAYS keep the child or children’s best interest in mind during negotiations. The child’s safety and physical and emotional health should be a priority in all negotiations.
- Be kind and considerate to other parents, grandparents, and/or guardians seeking child custody rights. Those parties also love your children and are looking out for their best interests.
- Be honest. It’s important to be open and honest during custody rights negotiations so everyone understands exactly their roles and responsibilities.
- Be flexible. When negotiating, everything may not go exactly how you planned. You may need to bite your tongue in order to resolve custody rights through negotiations.
- LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN!! Children’s thoughts and opinions deserve to be heard and considered. Do not ignore your children’s feelings and viewpoints.
