Learning the Importance of Being a Grandparent
Hi, I’m MomMom. Here’s a little bit About Me!
In my 50’s, after raising five children of my own, I finally found myself stepping into a new season of life. My husband and I were enjoying our careers, settling into a quieter home, and beginning to feel a sense of freedom we hadn’t experienced in decades. All of our children were grown and living on their own, and for the first time in a long time, life felt… calm.
Then, life threw us a curveball.
We suddenly found ourselves opening our home—and our hearts—in a much bigger way than we ever expected. Our two oldest grandchildren were moving in with us. It wasn’t something we had planned for, and to be honest, we weren’t fully prepared for what lay ahead.
Everything changed overnight.
The routines we had just settled into shifted. The quiet was replaced with noise, laughter, challenges, and responsibility. We were parenting again—only this time, with more life experience, a little more patience, and a whole lot of love.
And while the transition wasn’t always easy, it didn’t take long for us to realize something incredibly important…
We wouldn’t change it for the world.
We love our grandchildren with all of our hearts. Watching them grow, learn, and feel safe in our home has become one of the greatest blessings of our lives. What started as an unexpected turn has become a deeply meaningful journey—one filled with both challenges and incredible joy.
This experience has taught me so much about resilience, unconditional love, and the true importance of being a grandparent—not just in the traditional sense, but as a steady, supportive presence when it matters most.
If you’re here, chances are your story may look a little like mine. Whether you’re raising your grandchildren, supporting them, or simply navigating the role of grandparenthood, I want you to know—you’re not alone.
This space is for you.
Welcome to our journey.
To find support for grandparents visit Providing Support through Tips, Ideas & Suggestions for Parents & Grandparents Raising Grandkids:
Gaining Custody of a Grandchild
I knew it was necessary to take legal custody of my grandkids, but the decision wasn’t easy!
For many years my daughter struggled with mental health issues and addiction to both drugs and alcohol. As a teenager, I took her to therapy, found an alternative school for support and did what I thought was best to help her through her challenges. She struggled and I didn’t know what to do or where I should go for the support and guidance she really needed, but I tried.
I had four younger children at home to take care of, so I didn’t always provide the focus or attention she needed. I have many regrets for my actions at that time and I wish I could redo many of my decisions, but I obviously can’t.
After my daughter dropped out of college, she went through various stages of mental health ordeals, self-medicating, distancing herself from the family, etc. When she returned home from one of her getaways, she asked for my guidance and agreed to go into a rehabilitation facility.
While in rehab, she met a young man who eventually became her children’s father. Their relationship was on and off again for many years. While both found small pieces of sobriety in their relationship, neither of them could commit their daily lives to staying sober and fully caring for their kids.
It’s hard to admit that your child is unable to care for her own children, your grandchildren. It’s hard to admit that to friends, family, school, work, church, etc., you have gained custody of your grandchildren due to their parents’ behaviors, including your daughter. That’s hard!
I have friends & family who are still angry with my daughter for not being responsible enough to raise her own children and putting me in that predicament. But these are my grandchildren. If I didn’t take them, where would that leave them? Foster care? Living a dysfunctional life with dysfunctional parents? It was a hard decision, but I knew it was the only decision I could make for the kids.
Making life Adjustments for Raising Grandkids
My husband and I had already raised five children, supported them through college, and watched them find success in their own careers. I certainly wasn’t looking to raise more children. I hadn’t even had enough time to enjoy being an empty nester.
But, there I was in an emergency courtroom seeking legal custody of my 12-year-old grandson, who is on the autism spectrum, and my 8-year-old year grand-daughter, with Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder, ADHD. My adult children encouraged me to seek legal custody, offering their support, but in the end, I was alone in the courthouse filling out piles of paperwork in my name to request legal custody.
During this time my daughter, their mother, was in a Psychiatric unit after months of drug use and her own conspiracy therapies of abduction. Their dad’s whereabouts were unknown. So that day I became their legal guardian.
I didn’t know how difficult and different raising grandkids would be from raising my own kids. But I would learn, and I am continuing to learn the challenges. Years later, their mom, my daughter is sober and back in their lives on a visitation basis. They see their Dad too, on a much less frequent basis.
All in all, the struggles continue. Quarantining during COVID-19 was brutal, but we kept going, kept learning, and kept loving each other through the challenges and chaos!!
- What are your struggles as a Grandparent Raising Grandkids?
- What suggestions can you give me?
- How do you manage everything with your grandchildren?
I’d love to hear from other grandparents in similar situations. Please reach out and let me know how you handle your chaos! I’m looking forward to hearing from you at mommom@raisinggrandkids.com.
Key Resources and Hot Lines
General Crisis: Dial 9-8-8. You can also text or chat via the 988 Lifeline.
General Mental Health: Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for the SAMHSA National Helpline. It offers 24/7 referrals to local treatment and support.
National Support & Education: Contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Call their hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI or visit the NAMI HelpLine page.
Mental Health America: Find advocacy and affiliate programs on Mental Health America.